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grilledcheese-savage · 3 months ago

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Is Animorphs Ableist?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Look, some of the people on this site genuinely scare me. Their leftism goes so radical that it goes back around to being somehow right wing. There's some real puritanism that's going on that I'm not liking AT ALL. Listen, you can and should think about media critically, and I'm sure there's some things to be said about the way the auxillary morphs are handled. But as someone who is disabled and is a wheelchair user, I feel I'm obligated to defend this series choices.

I believe books should always be able to portray heavy topics, especially when it comes to books about war. Because what is Animorphs if not a book about war? In war bad things happen. People are used. People are broken. People are thrown away. Not once does Animorphs portray these things as a morally good thing to do. In fact, I'd say Animorphs makes you stare right at the disgusting, morally corrupt, real situations that happen in war, so you don't forget them when it comes to vote.

War creates disabled people. There's no way around it. Either you're a veteran, traumatized by the things you've seen, lost a limb etc. being treated as cannon fodder (where the word comes from) or a civilian who was caught in the crossfire. No matter how justified the war, good people get hurt. People get hurt. Not once does Animorphs try to portray it as something that's worth the end goal. I think this is where people get confused. Animorphs is a first person story. You are being spoken to by an unreliable narrator and in the last book where arguably the most "ableist things" are said and done, you aren't just being spoken to by kid; you're being spoken to by a captain. The context surrounding the situation can be easily forgotten seeing as the book is 20+ years old, but Jake isn't a "good person" he's a ruthless soldier trying to see the a-z. That ruthless end goal that can save the greater public. SPOILERS INCOMING IF YOU HAVENT READ ANIMORPHS PLS DO ITS FREE ONLINE: Jake says it himself in one of the most famous lines in the book "It took my breath away, the pure, ruthless perfection of it.

-All i had to do was send my friends to die."

What he said isn't a good thing. Arguing that the author or creators wanted you to take "kill your friends, end a war!" away as a message from the book is being willfully ignorant. Jake just saw his parents be taken over by aliens, while all his friends got theirs back. He lost everything and he's depressed because deep down he knows he will have to kill his brother to end this war. All he can do is focus on ending this war. And then he sees it. The end.

Killing the auxillary morphs (disabled child soldiers) and committing mass genocide on his enemies. When he decides to follow through with this plan we see him lie to the only person he has left to love (and might I add, a symbol of humanity, empathy and hope) Cassie, and watch her cry in agony as she's forced to watch all the soldiers she trained, loved and by proxy sent to die, be killed one by one excruciatingly. We are supposed to feel bad reading this. Yes it ends the war. But it leaves us the audience with the question, was it worth it? If you take empathy out of the equation, yes you could argue it was worth it. But Cassie is empathy. It wasn't worth it to her. She is who we are supposed to connect with in this scenario.

Another situation I see people argue as ableist- that the yeerks are supposed to be metaphors for disabled fascist nazis. No. Thats not even close to the truth.

The yeerks are creatures that cannot hear, see, or feel very well when they are just themselves. They are entirely intelligent beings with the capability to communicate and empathize. Yeerks are not inherently evil beings. There's no such thing. This is why The Departure was written. The Yeerk empire for the majority of the books is written to be inseparable with yeerks themselves, and again, that is because the story is written in first person. Canonically, the animorphs view yeerks as evil, inhuman things that are irredeemable so it's easier for them to sleep at night. That's why when cassie talks to a yeerk who sees things differently than the empire, the animorphs are immediately suspicious, and get downright angry when Cassie first tries to explain to them that there are good yeerks.

When people try to compare the yeerk empire to real life wars and genocides, it makes me frustrated. Yes, they share similarites. But by saying that yeerks are just "nazis" you are missing out on some really good writing and at the same time shrinking the impact of those horrifying real life tragedies by comparing them to a kids book. But If I HAD to compare them to a real life scenario to make you understand, I probably would compare them to russia. Because the Russians in the ukranian war aren't evil. They are people stuck in a horrible system. When cassie finds out the yeerk she's stuck with doesn't want to be in this war, she uses COMPASSION to create a league of symbiotic yeerk-morpher sympathizers. She LITERALLY steps in their shoes by morphing into a yeerk against her greater fears. Ok, this post is getting very cassie focused for some reason but the point is- They arent trying to say that being disabled is an "excuse for committing war crimes", because the yeerks aren't disabled. They aren't even a metaphor for being disabled. In fact, the yeerks were shown in the prequels that they would've been perfectly fine with their symbiotic relationships on their original planet if someone didn't start the empire, using exploration as an excuse for colonization. That's how most empires start I'd argue.

Basically, calling them all nazis is a gross generalization of the true meaning of the series. Now that I'm done with showing why I dont agree with those opinions, here's some reasons why I think animorphs is actually very pro-disabled activism.

In book 41, Jake goes through a traumatic mission and hallucinates another dimension where the yeerks won. In this world, he sees what the empire does to disabled people. The yeerk empire is ableist, and shoves all their disabled people that cant be used as hosts into a dirty alley to die. When one of the people there ask him if he's supposed to be there (this is a police state) he says yes, and internally monologues about how his trauma currently disables him. If you read it, its very ahead of it's time. The yeerks have "no use of disabled people". So what do they do? They forget about them, ignore their needs, and mistreat them just like reality. And in the 90s, mental health being taken seriously as a disability was still a very young idea.

When the auxillary morphs are first created, Cassie was the first one to come up with the idea of "using disabled people as soldiers since they wont be infested" and instantly dismisses it. She thinks it's morally corrupt but is convinced into talking to them after one of the other morphs explains that they cant do this alone and they should at least have a choice, which, in my opinion is pretty progressive. It does not stay progressive of course, since the animorphs are on and off used as a metaphor for the american military. When they get there, they give false promises that some of them might be healed if they gained their disability in an accident. In my opinion, this could be a metaphor for how the military gives people the option to join in exchange for free education. Then after people fight and gain disabilities, some of them cant go to school and cant even find a job. I think again, this is a progressive idea about how the military is a gamble, because as soon as they gain the morphing abilities, whether or not it heals their human form, they still have to be soldiers. They were doomed from the start.

The military can and will forget about their own as soon as they arent able to fight. How is animorphs portraying this a bad thing? In fact, personally I think the disabled characters were good representation but thats a rant for another day.

I know a lot people can be very black and white when it comes to media but please give animorphs a chance because it's not even close to being ableist.

#animorphs #animorphs rant #cassie animorphs #jake animorphs #i actually had to cut out parts because this got too long #i didnt even get to rachel #tobias animorphs #marco animorphs #ax animorphs #free animorphs pdf pls read its on reddit

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sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel · 1 year ago

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Looking through my old notes again, I found a brief bit where a friend of mine (@lilacnothlit) and I discussed an Animorphs bodyswap fic. Details: The narrator was going to be Tobias. The bodyswap was caused by a Yeerk plot device that was supposed to interfere with the morphing ability - possibly a revisit of the Anti-Morphing Ray in a new form, or a Morph Scrambler, or something to that effect. Rachel and Ax switch bodies. Ax is terrible at being a teenage girl, but Naomi is busy with a case and Rachel's little sisters think Rachel acting funny is hilarious, so no danger there. Rachel hates having to live in the woods, so she promptly acquires herself with Ax's help and can be herself 2 hours at a time. Long enough for shopping trips at the mall, doing damage control at home. and hanging out with Tobias. Cassie and Jake switch bodies. Both are too embarrassed by the situation to do anything but put their noses to the grindstone and get through it. Luckily for them, Jake was already a fixture at Cassie's barn every other day anyways, so no one raises an eyebrow when "Jake" comes over to help "Cassie" with medicating the animals and mucking out the barn. Tobias and Marco switch bodies. This is where most of the problems arise, as neither of them is even remotely prepared for the kind of life the other leads. Tobias is also frustrated because the Side Plot involves yet another hawk threatening to take over Tobias's meadow, and Marco cannot, will not defend the meadow because he doesn't know how. Where Tobias valiantly and nobly exiled himself to the woods to live as a wild bird, Marco hangs out with Cassie and Jake all day, eating hamburger and watching television and doing his best impression of a teenage boy even though he's currently a bird and weighs 3 pounds soaking wet.

We never quite figured out a resolution. Maybe the device screwed with Visser Three's morphing ability too, so the Yeerks have to undo it and accidentally help the Animorphs in the process. Maybe the Animorphs manage to hold themselves together for a mission, steal the device, and get Erek and/or Ax to reverse it. I do know the Animorphs still being able to acquire their original bodies from each other and pretend to be themselves 2 hours at a time makes things easier, though.

#animorphs #body swap plot #fic idea

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halogenwarrior · 6 months ago

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This is somewhat of a continuation of the post I made recently: but I think Marco and Cassie’s relationship dynamic is a very interesting one. They are on the surface of it the advocates of opposing ideologies, and the closest emotionally to Jake so that he is always feeling the contrasting pull of both. And by connection they are the resident “smart ones” of the group, the ones that tend to notice things others don’t and make the most cogent intellectual arguments. Except that (in a running theme of the series of the contrast of how each character is viewed by others vs. reality, and how those roles they are stereotyped into in the pressure cooker of war affect them) only Marco is really acknowledged and named by the others as “the smart one”, as an appellation constantly referred to them when they are being introduced (Rachel is the brave one, Jake is the leader, Tobias is the one who is a hawk, etc.). Yes Cassie will sometimes get a shout out as being deep or emotionally understanding, but never “smart”, even if she has about as many moments of finding the intelligent solution or realizing something as Marco does. And I think this speaks to how Cassie’s ideas seem too out-of-left field, she thinks “differently” and is likely to be dogpiled by everyone as a result, while as noted in one of the books (can’t remember which) Marco’s complaining and cautiousness (and by extension his ruthlessness) says what everybody thinks but doesn’t want to say, just on a more intelligent and insightful level, it’s the same “genre” but with more insight. Even Cassie herself internalizes it, referring to Marco as the smartest one and herself as a dumb tree-hugger.

Interestingly, the only time I can think of she is referred to as “the smartest one” the way Marco often is by Marco himself in #45. In this book, Marco wants to rescue his mother but, from his position of logical ruthlessness, thinks it would only harm others for his own personal benefit. And then Cassie is the one who is able to come up with an objective reason why saving her would benefit them and their cause, and Marco responds by thinking that “I just wouldn’t again forget that, in some ways, Cassie is the bravest and smartest of my friends”. He appreciates Cassie and her intelligence because when someone else, like Jake, tries to tell him do act with his heart, there’s not much of an argument to it and it is something he can easily debunk, it’s all just foolish and not pragmatic. But Cassie is smart enough to actually make him believe, by his own logic, that he can dare to hope for himself.

There’s also the dynamic between them of selfishness/personal gain vs. selflessness, where it quickly becomes unclear who is supposed to represent what. But just a recap if you haven’t read that: I talked in my earlier post about how Cassie’s fundamental drive/motivation is that the animal world is cold, running on just survival, of oneself and those genetically close to oneself (as she realizes in #9 and has a bit of a breakdown about), and to prove there is something more and the world is not senseless, every sapient being has to use their ability to morally reason (as she articulates in Megamorphs #2) to do whatever an animal wouldn’t. Marco starts out as the opposite, the one out of all the Animorphs who is most associated with personal “survive and protect one’s family” goals. In the early books, he is the most concerned about the risk of death they run, for himself and how it would emotionally crush his father, and often points out that the people they are helping are not people he personally knows or is related to, so why should he risk his life for them? When he decides to fully commit himself to the war, it’s not out of some far-reaching altruism but because he now knows his mother is a Controller and he might be able to rescue her. Contrasting Cassie’s desire to transcend the reasoning of an animal, the ruthlessness that Marco desires is “animal-coded” in #15, where he loves the shark morph for giving him the simple and ruthless animal instinct that allows him to escape his uncertainties and insecurities.

But something strange happens along the way. Step by step, Marco transitions from using the shark’s logic, the animal ruthlessness, for its typical purpose of survival of one’s genes to expanding it to the whole planet, being willing to appropriate that animal instinct for the benefit of all of humanity even at the expense of his personal benefit (being willing to sacrifice his mother no matter how much it emotionally destroys him) – appropriating the logic of selfishness for a selfless cause, and taking the same risks even though he’s given up on saving what personally matters to him from it. And Cassie’s fundamental driving principle of avoiding that self-serving logic also means avoiding the “animal’s action” even when it would have a great utilitarian benefit, which gradually starts to look an awful lot like selfishness. In #19, Cassie is willing to risk her friends’ torture and death, and in the long run the enslavement of humanity, so she can convince Aftran that there is another way besides parasitism. This makes perfect sense with her convictions, as the animal logic would say the Yeerks are biologically forced to be humans’ enemies, and humans for their own survival must see them as enemies to kill, but her beliefs means she must try to find a way that they can use their sapience to transcend that, otherwise what would be the point of living and winning in the first place? But it’s still a different kind of selfishness; not a selfishness for one’s own preservation, but that of potentially causing much suffering of others so one can personally feel morally sound and avoid despair. And I just love that dynamic where it quickly becomes unclear within the character foil relationship who is supposed to be the selfish or personally driven one and who is supposed to be the selfless, caring for everyone person. Just a fascinating dynamic.

#animorphs #cassie animorphs #Marco animorphs #animorphs meta

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thelesbianthespianposts · 10 days ago

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Rachel Berenson is on the Villains Wiki and I’m mad

so I’m gonna go through this bullshit page and show how bullshit it is

Starting off, they call her an anti-heroine.

first off, I think that definition isn’t great, but also, Rachel has a LOT of heroic attributes. She’s brave, she’s strong, she clearly loves her friends, she’s determined, she’s loyal and she shows regret for her less heroic actions. Plus, in the more literal definition of anti-hero, (a character who works against the protagonist but isn’t the antagonist), she IS a protagonist. She never works against the animorphs except when she was cut in half and one half was all of her strength with none of her inhibition.

They call her a monster??? She’s a child. And while it’s true the war affected her psychologically, it did that to everyone else too. If you want a character that turned into a cruel irrational monster, look no further than her first cousin, Jake.

Like this is much worse than what Rachel has going on. (Not saying Jake is a villain btw I’m just calling out the hypocrisy).

The entry tries to characterize Rachel as some remorseless killing machine when it’s just not true. She constantly thinks about her actions. Honestly this page reads like she wrote it about herself because it lists all her insecurities as fact.

This is when she gets put back together, she has to come to terms with the fact that she is not pure killing machine, but not completely innocent either. And she’s scared!

This is my favorite Rachel introspection. The idea that she finds comfort in her hubris because it means she’s not alone is so important. She clearly hates herself for enjoying the fighting, but seeing that people throughout history also dealt with that makes her feel more human.

(Wrong use of whom, left out a was, terrible run on sentence)

(Before she dying?? Girl) But anyway, this blatant misrepresentation of Rachel’s conversation with the Ellimist is wild. It frames the conversation as if Rachel was mauled and the Ellimist came in to call her a mistake. That’s not what happens. He does say he never intended Rachel to be an animorph, but she had proven herself invaluable to the team. Then, he tells her something that invalidates this whole page, I’m guessing why they didn’t mention it.

“You were brave. You were strong. You were good.” It serves as a moment of relief, making Rachel know that her insecurities were wrong and that she was a good person, despite her actions. She dies with that knowledge, providing her with a sense of closure that’s really good narratively, and brought tears to my eyes.

Marco, albeit reluctant originally, enjoyed the war. Jake towards the end of the series definitely enjoyed escalating the war. Ax, with his authoritarian propaganda against yeerks ingrained in his mind enjoyed the war and even suggested using harsher tactics on yeerks several times. Rachel did enjoy fighting, yes, but it was always a topic for her self reflection. Her love for fighting was her big flaw she had to work through narratively. It makes no sense to use that as justification to call her a villain.

Anyway- have some of my favorite Rachel moments I didn’t already include

Her awesome shopping logic- she would never call it “girl math”

Love her aside about Cassie and Jake bc we know Cassie was insecure and thought Jake wouldn’t like her bc she’s Black, so it’s nice to see her defending it even to Tobias.

On that topic, I love this interaction. (Obvi the kind of dated “colorblind” thing isn’t great now but it’s the 90s so it’s how they would talk about it) but Rachel is so quick to assure Cassie that her fears are unfounded, but in a nice and comforting way that doesn’t invalidate Cassie’s feelings.

Just some funnies

#rachel animorphs #uh oh really long post #whoops #i just have a lot of feelings about her #Animorphs #p-145e

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hatingfromacrackedscreen · 1 year ago

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One of my favorite things about the Animorphs rotating pov is how you get to see character development happening so subtly but from so many different angles. One of my favorite examples is with Cassie & Marco’s relationship, from when she left the team to the David Arc (books 19-22), and how it explains so much of their dynamic for the rest of the series.

Marco and Cassie have one of the most interesting dynamics out of the Animorphs because of how often they disagree over conflicts/strategy, but also because of the fact that they usually end up being the de facto strategists of the team (They also both are like, in love with Jake, which also leads to really interesting moments but this isn’t about that). Naturally this puts them at odds with each other often, especially during Book #19. Cassie quits the team and voluntarily infests herself so she doesn’t have to kill Karen, something that Marco doesn’t understand and also is upset about, because now he may have to kill Cassie. After book’s end Cassie makes it back to the team and Aftran begins the peace movement. There’s a lot of threads that contribute to spiral from the book, and Cassie and Marco’s relationship is one of the subtler ones. What’s important to note is that the next book, book #20, is a Marco pov. We get to see his thoughts, and all is not forgiven. He reminisces about the recent Cassie-related events, and says something along the lines of “yeah I’m not really chill with her after the shit she pulled with Aftran.” Which I support Cassie fully, but fair enough! Not only did Cassie voluntarily cause their biggest security breach at the moment, but also he thought he, a 14 year old, was now going to have to kill his friend, another 14 year old. I would be pissed too. (Also this is another great subtle narrative thread leading into the David Arc, which derives its most central tension from this same dilemma)

However the culmination of the Cassie Marco tension comes not from either of their own pov, but from the next book, book 21 which is a Jake pov. The Animorphs all morph bugs to break into a hotel that has a Yeerk conspiracy involved, and they come close to the 2 hour limit. They all morph back successfully except Marco (the weakest morpher) who is stuck as a several foot tall giant grotesque flea. Everyone’s freaking out, but it’s Cassie who’s comes forward, places a hand on Marco, and soothingly guides him through his sheer panic, and into demorphing back to his human self. After Marco breaks down and sobs on Cassie, and Jake even notes he’s never seen Marco cry like that. Which is significant since Jake has known Marco grieving through his mother “dying”. Jake doesn’t note it, because it’s a situation he doesn’t even know about, but in this moment Marco forgives Cassie. Marco never gives her shit for the Aftran situation again, either in his narration or in others. And I love that it’s something that’s not explicitly said by Jake in this book, or Marco or Cassie in later ones, but all of the resolution of that tension between them beautify resolves in a book that’s not either of their povs and doesn’t even explicitly mention it.

Not only is that a knack to Animorphs’ character writing, but it sets the foundation for their relationship going forward. It’s why Cassie still goes to talk to Marco in Book #35 through his issues with his dad remarrying, and he ridicules her a bit but hears her out. And then by series end, when Cassie gives the morphing cube away to the Yeerks, and Jake tells everyone. Is Mr. Marco “ruthless bright line from A to B” pissed at her? No he’s over it and back to being chums with her. Because that’s Cassie his bestie now❤️ And I love that no matter how often they’re at conflict later in the series, after the flea incident it never gets as serious in Marcos narration as it was to him before, in book #20. Animorphs’ character writing amongst multiple povs is just so so soo good.

#cassie and Marco are always one of my favorite underrated animorphs dynamics #THEYRE SO INTERESTING #I love Cassie and Rachel’s relationship more prbly but I do think Cassie and Marco are more interesting foils #Animorphs #cassie animorphs #Marco animorphs #Jake animorphs #animorphs meta #Cassie&Marco #animorphs 19 #animorphs 20 #animorphs 21 #who asked?

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andalitean · 2 years ago

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The return of me giving my friends unwarranted plot descriptions of animorphs books (in my defense they asked for it this time). Just smile and wave

(Bonus because this isnt even the first time ive mentioned the Jake almost dies in fly morph book to this friend)

#animorphs #the animorphslore chronicles #the warning #greatest hits

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 2 months ago

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What if all the yeerks suddenly died? AU

Part 3.5; Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 are here. All you need to know from earlier parts is that all the yeerks disappeared at once after the events of #19, and that the Animorphs and ex-controllers have been trying to resume a normal life ever since.

• Hedrick Chapman wanted to be an ecologist when he grew up. Or a veterinarian. Barring that, he’d have settled for being rich. At no point did he ever want to be a vice principal of a criminally underfunded public high school. That had been a yeerk decision, not his. Certainly not his. And yet, here he is.

• Then again, Chapman reflects as he watches Andy Mitchell vomit into the potted plant on his desk, this job has recently involved far more working with wild animals than he initially anticipated.

“It was horrible,” Andy sobs. “Her f-face, it… it split open. I could see bones under the—” He cuts off, retching more.

Probably in shock, Chapman thinks. A perfectly understandable reaction to having seen someone morph for the first time. “What did she turn into?”

“What?” Andy lifts his head. Milk-pale, except for those red-rimmed eyes. Definitely in shock. “What do you mean?”

“Rachel.” Chapman didn’t get a name, but that description could only apply to so many students. “What did she morph?”

“I don’t know,” Andy wails. “Her face got all baggy and horrible, like the skin was coming off, and it…” He makes a pulling motion, away from his own mouth.

“So she turned into an elephant.” Chapman notes that down. “Then what?”

“You don’t understand,” Andy says. “She… she… her body was melting!”

Chapman sets down the pen, looking him in the eye. “I believe you. You saw her turn into an elephant. Did she try to attack you, once she was done?”

“I don’t know! I ran for it.”

“Smart choice.” Chapman massages his left temple, which is where his Rachel-shaped headache seems to have taken up full-time residence in Iniss 226’s absence. “I figured as much, since we’re not having this conversation in the hospital.”

“It was horrible,” Andy says again.

“And what did you say to Tobias Fangor that precipitated this incident?”

Andy blinks. His color looks a little better, anyway. “How did you know that?”

Chapman does not roll his eyes. Because he’s an adult, and in control of his own body. “I just so happen to be fluent in English, Mr. Mitchell. Which is, by enormous coincidence, the language used to write your disciplinary file. I’m also capable of basic pattern recognition.”

“What are you going to do to her?” Andy asks. “Rachel. What happens to her?”

An excellent question. Bringing a deadly weapon to school results in a ten-day suspension. But if Chapman applies that statute in this case, then he’d be forced to suspend all five Animorphs for the rest of eternity. Threatening a classmate can result in expulsion, though it sounds like no actual threats were issued. There isn’t a rule on the books for showing a classmate something so disturbing his brain tries to turn itself inside-out from sheer horror, although in light of recent developments there really should be.

“Not your concern,” Chapman says. “Thank you for telling me. Back to class.”

Andy takes several more minutes to collect himself before he goes. Chapman uses that time to catch up on paperwork, though he does offer the young man a tissue. And a breath mint.

• Andy is barely out Chapman’s door when it swings open again and Tom Berenson strides in. “You have to tell my parents it’s not Jake’s fault,” he announces.

I am not your therapist, Chapman would dearly like to say. I am not your best friend. I am not, regardless of Iniss 226’s relationship with Temrash 114, your fucking subordinate. I do not ‘have to’ do anything.

Not being snippy with vulnerable teenagers is probably one of those things they’d cover M.Ed. programs, if Chapman had ever actually been to school for this job. “Why don’t you take a deep breath and explain from the beginning.” There. That sounds like something a vice principal would say.

“Jake.” Tom sits down. “My parents keep forcing him to go to school. They think he’s, like, being a moody teenager. Or faking it.”

Chapman may not be a therapist, or even a college graduate, but he does recognize that Jake’s entitled to as many sick days as he feels like taking, for the rest of eternity. However, “That’s between your parents and your brother.”

“You can’t do anything?” Tom asks. “You have the ability to give kids permanent excuses for made-up medical conditions— Iniss did it all the time—”

“I am not,” Chapman says severely, “Iniss 226.”

Tom stiffens. “I just meant…”

“I recognize it is not your fault you have entirely too much information about the administration of this school.” Chapman tries to soften his tone. “But if you can do without using the Krav Maga or ability to home-assemble a working handgun that you also didn’t choose to receive, you can do without that.”

“But— Jake. They don’t get it.”

“I will speak with your parents. I’ll express these concerns to them,” Chapman says. “In the meantime, might I suggest you focus on your own grades? Thanks to Iniss, you’ve missed far too much school already. If you want to have any hope of graduating on time, you need to catch up.”

“Why?”

He says it so simply. It’s a question Chapman’s been asked before: Why bother? Of all the kids who’ve asked him, only Marco Santiago has been more entitled to ask. Why, indeed, bother with school? Why care about Civics and Algebra when the world itself has already ended around you?

A real vice principal would make a speech about learning being its own reward, or the importance of insuring one’s future. “Because,” Chapman says, “when I speak to Coach Lu about letting you back on the basketball team, he’ll point out that student athletes need a minimum two-point-oh GPA.”

Tom’s whole face lights up. Suddenly looking years younger. Looking like a kid, for the first time in months. “You’d do that for me?”

That M.Ed. program no doubt would have advised against bribes. “No skin off my butt,” Chapman says. “Now go do your homework. And let the adults worry about your brother.”

“Yes sir!” And he’s off like a shot. Possibly even, miracle of miracles, off to work on that backlog of English essays.

• The first time Jake called a meeting in Cassie’s barn, even though they don’t really have a reason to meet anymore, it was to discuss what they can do to help the hork-bajir—taxxon alliance. The second time, it was to make a plan to help Tobias get caught up in school. The third time, he doesn’t even make an excuse.

Rachel complains about the press hounding them for a statement. Marco complains about his parents making out on the couch while he’s in the house. Tobias complains about Ms. Paloma’s workload, and about the hork-bajir constitution negotiations. Jake complains about his dad’s horrifying questions about how morphing affects puberty. Ax complains about Alloran’s frequent, extremely snobby, emails. Cassie complains about her parents constantly asking her to morph their patients to figure out what’s wrong with them.

It’s silly. It’s fun. It’s playing at being teenagers with teenage problems.

“This time next week,” Jake announces, at the end. “And if there are any major developments in the meantime, keep the rest of us posted.”

• “Tobias Fangor’s aunt called again,” Principal Walsh says, when Chapman gets to the office on a Tuesday morning. “Don’t you think we should at least speak to her, see what she wants?”

“No,” Chapman says. “I don’t.”

“His uncle. This…” She glances at the paperwork. “Axel Mili-Esgarrouth. Didn’t show up for last parent-teacher conference.”

Small mercies. Chapman doesn’t explain Tobias’s living situation. Doesn’t reveal that he owes the kid’s parents the kind of debt that cannot be repaid in an entire lifetime of favors. Doesn’t deign to find out if Maggie Walsh knows what an andalite is.

“Tobias Fangor,” he says, “is part of the one-tenth of one percent of students who are, somehow, attending this high school because they want to be here. If you give him reason to transfer out, I will resign.”

• There are reasons that Chapman stays in this job, despite being stashed here against his will. Not the pay. Not the sullen ingratitude from the teens he helps. Certainly not the parents. It’s because he’s needed here, now more than ever.

• He stays for the times Loren’s kid comes skittering into his office, wild-eyed and muttering, “Sorry, I just, sorry, I’ll be out of your hair soon, I promise…” Chapman knows to open the window, when that happens, knows to shove a chair already well-deformed with talon marks out from behind his desk.

• He stays for the kids who on paper had straight As, perfect attendance, promising gigs at The Sharing — and overnight became failing wrecks with insomnia and dozens of unexplained absences. He can explain to their teachers, to their parents, in a way that someone who hasn’t been there will never be able to understand.

• He stays for the way Eva Santiago clasps his hand and says, “You will look out for him.” Half-supplication, half-command.

• He even, despite himself, stays for Tom. Who showed up at school the day after Aegas 1909 died, trying to pretend like nothing had happened. Who is a truly godawful actor — he took one look at Chapman, went dead-white, and ran for it. Who was backing away even as Chapman cornered him in the parking lot. “Wait!” Chapman had said. “Wait! Iniss is dead too.” And Tom had burst into tears.

• No one else would understand them. No one else would know why nearly every one of the seventy-three ex-hosts in this school has been sent to his office for not paying attention, for sleeping in class, for allegedly being stoned during school hours. No one else would overlook the absolute illegal mess of Tobias’s paperwork, or give Rachel a fortieth second chance after she has yet another hair-trigger reaction to being bumped in the hall.

• But there’s one reason above all others that he stays in this job.

“You don’t mind?” Melissa says, every single time he offers her a ride to school. As if he’s doing her a favor, letting her take up space in the car he’s already driving that way. As if it’s a chore to get to spend time with his daughter and hear about her day.

“You sure you don’t mind?” he always answers, smiling, and she always runs to get her bag.

It takes so little — a smile, a nod, an offer to feed the damn cat, sometimes even just a glance her way — to get her to light up with gratitude. It breaks his fucking heart to know the reason why.

He drives her every day. He helps her with homework every night, and cooks her dinner afterward. He drops more than he can afford on leg-warmers and Lisa Frank and Limited Too. He’s every parenting cliché: on a trial separation from Alison, spoiling their kid rotten because of the guilt.

Anyway, time with Melissa is worth a hell of a lot more than mere money. And it’s almost enough to make up for dealing with parents. Almost.

• “But Cassie’s a good kid,” Michelle Logan says. “She’s always been responsible, and she’s always taken care of herself. There has to be some kind of mistake.”

Chapman looks at the good kid sitting between her parents. Thinks of watching her rip a hork-bajir’s throat out, taking an innocent life along with the guilty one. Trusts that she had no choice in the matter, because if it was him she’d killed instead then he would have understood.

“I recognize that Cassie has had an overall clean record thus far,” Chapman says. “However, the Rain Forest Café is filing charges against the school for the impersonation and theft of several live animals, and I don’t have other suspects.”

“Cassie would never,” Michelle said. “She’s a good kid. She just fell in with the wrong crowd, that’s all.”

“Of that,” Chapman says dryly, “I have no doubt.”

Cassie lifts her head then to look straight at him. “I’m sorry,” she says, not sounding it. “I was trying to help the parrots.”

I. Yes, she’s a good kid. “It’s admirable,” Chapman tells her, “that you’re covering for your friends.” Probably also on the list of things a real vice principal wouldn’t say. “But there is no way that you could have acted alone.”

“Can you prove that?” Cassie asks.

“Can you even prove it was her?” Michelle says. “What about Marco, or Rachel? They morph. Isn’t Tobias a bird quite often? Who says it wasn’t him?”

Cassie and Chapman make eye contact. Marco is one incident away from being expelled. Rachel is about negative eight incidents away, and Chapman can only do so much to protect her. Tobias isn’t supposed to be at this school at all, which the board will surely notice if he comes to their attention. Cassie confessed, because Cassie can take the heat. And Chapman’s letting her take that fall.

“It’s okay,” Cassie tells the adults. “It’s only a week of detention.”

Because that was the lowest sentence he could propose, while still avoiding a legal proceeding. She really is a good kid.

• “Where you going?” Jake asks, not looking up from his Spanish homework, when Tom unlocks the front door at 8:00 PM on a Sunday.

“Sharing meeting,” Tom says casually. “Wanna come?”

Jake sets down his pen. He looks at his brother.

Tom stares back, smirking.

“Where are you actually going?” Jake says.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” And with that, Tom walks out the door.

Despite himself, Jake follows.

• It’s an under-21 nightclub that Jake vaguely recognizes as being a front for The Sharing, but the crowd spilling onto the lawn around it is truly all ages. There’s a giggling pair of 10-year-olds standing too close to the beer keg for his comfort, a middle-aged guy handing out glow sticks, and a woman with gray hair and a hand-knit sweater smoking a joint on the curb.

“Tommy-boy!” That’s the guy standing next to the door, an ex-controller Jake thinks is named Bill. He throws out his arms and, before Jake can react, has grabbed Tom, spun him around, dipped him, and kissed him on the mouth.

“Hands off, asshole,” Tom says, laughing as he pulls loose. “You are so fucking drunk.”

“Sssshhhhhh,” Bill says, not disconfirming the accusation. He points to the Employees Only printed on the door. “Just meat-puppets tonight. Ditch the tagalong.”

“Oh, come on.” Tom gestures at Jake. “The kid was a controller for a hot second last November.”

Bill squints at Jake. “Wait, really?”

Jake shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk about it. “Yeah.”

“Well all right, then.” Bill ruffles Jake’s hair, Tom slaps Bill on the ass, and they shoulder their way inside.

• The club is jammed full of bodies, most of them sweaty and partway naked. Jake retreats until his back is against the nearest wall, looking over the mess of dancing humans. Tom has split off, chest-bumping with some other guy Jake doesn’t know and stealing a drag off his cigarette. None of them are acting remotely like controllers, which is reassuring, and now he’s wondering if it’d be rude to leave without Tom about 10 seconds after having arrived.

No one would notice if he turned into a bug, he decides after about an hour of this. Seriously. This crowd would not notice, and it’s not like they’d care if they did. Tom can find his own way home.

A small form sidles up next to him. “Hi, Jake.”

“Melissa!” he says too loudly, glad to see a familiar face. “Hi.”

“You want some drink?” She holds up a clear plastic cup, three-quarters full of liquid. “There’s plenty more over…” She points to the punchbowl behind her.

“Drink?” Jake asks.

Melissa shrugs. “From the empty bottles, it’s mostly beer and tequila, with a little bit of Bloody Mary mix. Which is probably why it…” She grimaces down at her cup. “Looks, smells, and tastes like urine.”

“Um.” Jake peers at her cup; her assessment isn’t wrong. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Cool. There’s also a guy around here with E, if that’s more your speed.”

“Gee.” Jake looks back over the crowd, which includes several couples openly pawing at each other, a group of four with hands inside each other’s clothes, and Tom apparently attempting to eat some woman’s tongue before she can eat his. “There’s ecstasy here? I never would’ve guessed.”

“People are just glad the war’s over,” Melissa says. “And your brother’s a really good kisser.”

It’s official: this is worse than the gathering of alien slugs plotting Earth’s destruction that Jake expected to find. It’s not even a proper orgy, just a whole crapton of giddy ex-hosts hugging each other and then getting too enthusiastic about the hugs.

“Look,” Jake says. “This has been nice, but I have school tomorrow, so…”

• Which is when the commotion breaks out near the door.

“Gatecrasher!” That’s Bill, brandishing a mason jar as he continues to yell. “We have a gatecrasher!”

Several people crowd around him to get a better look, someone holding up a glow stick to reveal that, sure enough, the jar in his hands contains a single wolf spider. Among this crowd, animals that act strange or aren’t native to California don’t go without notice.

«I’m innocent! And even if I’m not you can’t prove anything,» the spider says. «Maybe I just wandered by accidentally, and this is all a big misunderstanding.»

“This thing’s for full members only,” Tom says, straight-faced. “There’s a sign on the door, can’t miss it.”

«Maybe I want to join the Sharing?» the spider suggests.

This gets him several unamused looks. “Toss him out,” Li says. “And let’s get back to the keg stands.”

“Nah, let him stay!” That’s Koko, piping up from the back. “God knows every person in this bar owes the Animorphs a drink.”

Looking between them, Bill turns back to the jar. Finally he lifts it up to eye level, starting at the spider’s middle two eyes. “Repeat after me,” Bill intones.

«Uh-huh.»

“What your mom doesn’t know…”

«What my mom doesn’t know…»

“Will not hurt her.”

«Dude, I wouldn’t narc on you! What do you take me for?»

“A chip off the old block,” Tom mutters.

“Repeat it,” Bill says severely.

«What my mom doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.»

“Great!” Bill unscrews the lid of the jar, dumping it out on the ground. “Welcome to the Sharing.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Melissa says to a slowly-demorphing Marco, “I got the same speech.”

“It really does.” He presses a hand over his heart. “Now, someone mentioned buying me a drink?”

• A small nightclub on the outskirts of the city burns to the ground, shortly after having every piece of its furniture and glassware smashed in a pile in the middle of the floor. The local police force, over 30% of whom were controllers three months ago, elects to ignore this development.

• Chapman loathes paperwork to the absolute depths of his soul. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is worse than filing paperwork to get permission to file paperwork, and yet here he is. The state of California cannot possibly need this many copies of Ashley Shawn’s transcript. This has to be a torment invented by an evil god to punish him for everything he did aboard the Jahar. There is no other explanation.

So when Ms. Hanna comes skidding into his office and announces “Science wing! There’s a brawl!” his first thought is, oh thank god.

His second thought is to wonder why she came to get him, skipping the security officer and Principal Walsh, but they’re already running by the time that occurs to him.

When they get there the press of screaming-chanting bodies fills the hall from end to end, but kids still find room to crowd out of the way when they see Chapman coming. The circle of spectators breaks long enough to reveal the melee at the center, and—

Oh hell. Chapman can tell exactly why Ms. Hanna got him first.

Fiona Aherne has one hand fisted in the collar of Tom Berenson’s shirt, and is punching him repeatedly in the face. Joe Lassen catches her around the middle and rips her off Tom, tossing her to the floor, only to be caught in a side-tackle by Li Saren. Beyond them, Hailey Ng and Bill Renaldi are hanging onto Asher Reed, until Asher suddenly rolls forward and body-slams Bill to the floor.

Chapman winces — so much for not using that Krav Maga. He's knocked aside as Jake shoves past him and dives in to the fray.

Principal Walsh is across the battlefield, staring in bafflement. Shouting ineffectually for everyone to stop. She doesn’t know, of course, what Tom and Joe and Asher all have in common. What Bill and Li and Fiona and Hailey do.

Li has Tom by the throat from behind, which is why Jake throws himself onto Li with the gracelessness typical of a high-schooler. Li head-butts Jake, only to have Jake, snarling, bite him in the face.

“Stop!” Chapman bellows. “ALL OF YOU! STOP!”

Jake drops off Li. Hailey drops Asher. Slowly the others lower their fists, glaring.

Good to know everyone’s fear of Iniss 226 is still good for something.

“Everyone in the Biology classroom,” Chapman barks, pointing at the door. “Bill’s lot near the windows, Tom and the others by the door. Move it!”

Principal Walsh stares at Chapman in confusion, which deepens when everyone obeys him without question. He beckons first to Ms. Hanna, then to Mr. Tidwell, pointing them into the room as well. They also take their places without question, Mr. Tidwell supervising the voluntary half of the room as Ms. Hanna covers the involuntaries.

Pausing in the doorway, Chapman turns at last to face Maggie Walsh. His boss. Who has the ability to fire him, if she misunderstands the situation. “It’s about yeerks,” he settles for telling her.

Her look of bafflement doesn’t fade. “How?”

Chapman opens his mouth. Hunts for words.

“Jake had nothing to do with this.”

Chapman doesn’t have to turn his head to know who spoke from the involuntary side of the room. What a surprise, a Berenson kid running his mouth.

“Thank you for your input, Thomas.” He spins around. “That isn’t your call.”

Tom crosses his arms. Between the fingernail marks down his cheek and the broken knuckles of his right hand, he looks the very picture of delinquency.

“He’s right,” Joe says, from the voluntary side of the room. “It’s nothing to do with Jake.” In Chapman’s peripheral vision, Maggie Walsh blinks several times. He’ll explain later. Or try to.

“Fine,” Chapman says. “Jake, get back to class.”

Jake lifts his chin, blood striping the lower half of his face. “I chose to get involved,” he says. “I’ll take my punishment.”

“Oh yeah?” Tom says. “Then what was the fight about?”

Jake looks from one side of the room to the other. Both sides have ninth graders, twelfth graders, jocks and nerds, white and Black and brown kids. Jake’s probably smart enough to identify several ex-controllers, and to guess at the rest, but unable to tell how or why they sorted themselves like they did. Nonetheless, after a second he opens his mouth.

“That’s what I thought,” Chapman cuts him off. “Anyway, if I suspend you then Marco and Rachel will have burned down the school within a week. Fix your nose, then back to class.”

Knowing when he’s beat, Jake leaves. Chapman makes a note he’ll also have to explain to Maggie how morphing works, and that he didn’t just order a 14-year-old to hand-set a broken nose.

“The involuntaries started it,” Bill announces, the moment Jake is gone.

“Yeah,” Tom snaps, “and the voluntaries are the ones who—”

“Who were lied to, instead of being coerced?” Mr. Tidwell suggests.

Tom shuts his mouth.

“Asher called me a traitor.” Li points a finger across the room.

“Six months ago Li told me,” Asher says quietly, “that I should really join the Sharing.”

“And so,” Chapman drawls, “you had no choice but to punch each other in the face. Is that correct?”

Tom mutters something under his breath that Chapman chooses not to catch. He can’t threaten them, not this crowd. Most of them have survived worse hells than the Geneva Convention ever dreamed of. Detention means nothing.

Fine. Persuasion it’ll have to be. Fuck his life. Chapman raises his voice to address the involuntaries. “They—” He points to the voluntary side of the room. “Are not the enemy. The yeerks are the enemy, and the yeerks are dead. Don’t start doing their work for them, you hear me?”

There’s a long silence. Asher scuffs the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“Yeah,” Tom says at last. “We hear you.”

“Everyone get checked at the nurse’s office,” Chapman tells the room at large. “You’re all suspended for the rest of the week.”

Maggie Walsh takes a seat next to Chapman, even as the kids all file out. Yeah. He owes her an explanation. Taking a deep breath, he tries to sum up what just happened. Hopefully in a thousand words or less.

Don Tidwell, coward, takes that opportunity to slip out the door.

• “Does anyone have anything to report?” Jake looks around Cassie’s barn. It’s still odd to see Ax and Tobias sitting out of morph and in the open. There was a brief collective panic when Cassie’s mom poked her head in earlier to ask if they want any lemonade or feeder mice.

“I have,” Marco says grandly, “a date… with Destiny!”

«Oh, you mean Destiny Trembull in tenth grade?» Tobias immediately undercuts this, because of course. «She seems nice.»

“And we don’t even have to spend the next three days following her around,” Rachel comments, which gets Marco to lob a horse comb at her head.

«I have accessed one-hundred twenty-three additional channels on my television,» Ax adds.

Cassie and Jake exchange a glance. “How’s it going, getting a ride home?” Cassie asks. “Any word on that?”

Ax shrugs — he isn’t even going to fit in on the andalite homeworld anymore when he does finally get there — and looks away. «I’ve been told that there are more important priorities concerning the Navy.»

«Their gratitude,» Tobias drawls, «is overwhelming.»

• Chapman explains to Jake’s parents that Jake needs a therapist, and also permission to miss school if he needs to. Chapman explains the Yeerk Empire and how exactly they recruit humans to Li Saren’s parents for the third, then the fourth, then the fifth time, until they are in tears and begging their son’s forgiveness for doubting him. Chapman explains to the district that he has no idea how the school ended up with a staircase leading from a supply closet to the alien sinkhole, but that he wants it sealed up posthaste. Chapman explains himself to Naomi Berenson, and then he does his best to explain Rachel as well.

• "No," Chapman tells the officious-looking little man sitting across his desk. "I don't know of anyone like that. I'm sorry, I wish I could be more help."

The man — he's probably a real detective, he has a badge — leans across the desk to push the photo array a little closer to Chapman. "You're sure? None of these individuals is a..." He glances at his notes. "Voluntary controller."

Chapman looks at the array, which includes images of nearly 100 students. Some of whom weren't controllers at all — that's Tobias Fangor in the upper left corner. Some of whom were lied to by the Sharing, and then lied to by the Yeerk Empire. Some of whom, like Bill Renaldi and his absolutely debilitating major depression, felt they had no choice but to give up their bodies. "Sorry," Chapman says. "None of these individuals appear to be voluntary controllers to the best of my knowledge."

The detective stares at Chapman, waiting for more information. Chapman stares back, waiting for the detective to get bored. He can do this all day, literal hours of silence if that's what it takes. He doubts any mere civilian can say the same.

Sure enough, the detective breaks first. "You see," he says, "we know for a fact that some of these individuals did, in fact, collude with the Yeerk Empire. And we have CCTV footage indicating that you might have been one of those colluders yourself. So anything you can do to help us out..."

Chapman lets the silence go for another minute, long enough for the detective to shift in place. "You're mistaken," he says at last. "About what it means to be a voluntary controller. Or an involuntary one, for that matter. The distinction you're seeking does not exist."

"I'm sorry." The guy has his notepad out now, pen moving. "You're saying... there's functionally no difference between the voluntary hosts and the involuntary ones?"

"Yes," Chapman says, unaware of the hell he's about to unleash. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

• “Ms. Paloma’s being a butt,” Melissa says, spinning her chair with a toe on the floor. “I told her that I have a French test the same day as the Bio one, but she just said that means I have to learn to manage my time.”

She just walked into his office. Without knocking. Without asking if he’s busy, if he minds, if he’s sure. Without apologizing for her existence. She walked in, she sat down uninvited, and now here she is complaining to him like any normal teenager.

“That sounds stressful.” Chapman is choosing his words with infinite care. He’s six years old again, holding a butterfly cupped in his palms and knowing that even a millimeter’s clumsiness will crush this precious living jewel. Thinking this. This is what I want. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he says.

She came in unprompted. She just walked right in.

“I hate French.” Melissa spins the chair again. “It’s all those lists of vocab words, and I can’t even say half of them correctly…”

“Do you want me to help you study?” Chapman asks.

Her head pops up with the force of her surprised, pleased smile. “You’d do that?”

That’s it, then. He’s never leaving this job. Paperwork and all.

#animorphs #animorphs au #long post #hedrick chapman #melissa chapman #violence #implied past child abuse #bullying #aus #imperfect consent #failure to obtain consent before kissing? doing things under the influence of substances that should really be done sober?#sol cares too much about the meatsuits #i am SO normal about the yeerk hosts

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